One on One Exercises

Personal timeline discussion

Description: This exercise will focus on developing and sharing your personal story with others. It will give you the opportunity to share your life experience and describe what values shape your life.

Approx. time: 25 min

Participants: 2

Directions:

Take 15 minutes to write down your personal history from your earliest memories to now. It can be in narrative, timeline, or any format you chose. Highlight key events that shaped who you are today.
Take 5 minutes each to discuss those events and what they mean to you and how you use those experiences to help inform major decisions.

Diversity exercise

Description: This exercise will focus on developing a deeper understanding about individual similarities and differences.

Approx. time: 9 min

Participants: 2

Directions:

Take 2 minutes to list ways we are alike (can be any topic, age, race, gender, eye color, etc.)
Now take 2 minutes to list ways we are different (can be any topic, age, race, gender, eye color, etc.)
Take 5 minutes to discuss how our differences allow for different perspectives and how we can leverage our similarities to overcome obstacles.

Crucial conversations exercise

Description: Crucial conversations are a necessity to manage staff and bosses effectively. They are “…day to day conversations that affect your life.” These conversations occur when two people have different options, the stakes are high, and emotions are strong about the topic. (Patterson, Kerry. Crucial conversations: tools for talking when stakes are high. New York, McGraw-Hill, 2012.)

Approx. time: 16 min

Participants: 2

Directions:

Talk briefly about what constitutes a critical conversation (see description above or have both parties read:
- Patterson, Kerry. Crucial conversations: tools for talking when stakes are high. New York, McGraw-Hill, 2012.
Take 5 minutes each to discuss a time when you engaged in a crucial conversation (personal or professional)
Take 5 minutes to talk about how similar (or different) those situations were and how you could (or would) have done it differently

Generational exercise

Description: The current workforces are made up of many different generations, each with their own experiences and perspectives. This exercise is designed to share experiences between generations and explore different values.

Approx. time: 20 min

Participants: 2-20

Directions:

Take 3 minutes to write down what was cool when you were growing up?
Take 3 minutes to write down what events shaped your generation?
Take 3 minutes to write down some negative stereotypes about your generation?
Take 3 minutes to write down some positive stereotypes about your generation?
Share your experiences on each topic, one minute each.

Mission exercise

Description: Ensure that each employee understands the mission and how his or her work relates to agency’s mission.

Approx. time: 30 min

Participants: 2

Directions:

Have the employee describe the mission of the office
Have the manager describe the mission of the office
Discuss any differences in the way the mission is interpreted or how the employee's work relates to it

The “Stay” interview

Description: A Stay Interview is a meeting between you and an employee whom you directly oversee. These private, one-on-one meetings aim to improve employee engagement and retention by identifying ways that you can help make employees’ work lives more fulfilling, rewarding, and manageable. They help you understand your employees’ perspective on what your organization is doing well, and what can be improved.

Stay Interviews are different from both Exit Interviews and performance conversations. Unlike Exit Interviews, Stay Interviews can reduce employee turnover by helping you proactively identify patterns of disengagement before an employee leaves, when you still have the opportunity to build on what is working and try to change what isn’t.

Stay interviews are not a one-time conversation, but rather the beginning of an ongoing conversation between you and your employees on how they can best remain engaged and challenged. Performance conversations and Stay Interviews are also different. Unlike performance conversations, Stay Interviews do not assess employee performance, but rather enable you to understand how to better serve and motivate your employees.

Approx. time: 30-60 minutes per employee for initial interview

Participants: 2

Directions:

It’s best to conduct Stay Interviews annually and, for new employees, within the first three to six months on the job. When scheduling Stay Interviews, it is important to schedule them separately from annual performance discussions to avoid confusing the purpose for each conversation.
When possible, conduct Stay Interviews face-to-face to promote high-quality communication between you and the employee, and instill a greater sense of trust. If a face-to-face conversation is not possible, conduct the Stay Interview over the telephone or virtually via video teleconference. When deciding where to hold the Stay Interview, identify spaces where the employee will feel comfortable disclosing private information; for example, a private conference room, not a cafeteria or break room.
Phase 1 - Prepare:
- Before inviting employees to participate in a Stay Interview, it is important that they understand what one is. Communicating the purpose and structure of a Stay Interview allows employees to understand what to expect before they commit to participate.
- Interview with each employee. Reserve a few extra minutes on your calendar just in case a meeting runs over; this will help avoid ending a positive conversation abruptly.
- It’s best to walk into a Stay Interview knowing what you will ask. Suggested areas to focus on:
  - What excites the employee about their job
  - What untapped skills the employee may want to exercise
  - What opportunities the employee wants to explore
- Now that you have your interviews scheduled and your questions prepared, you are almost ready to conduct the Stay Interview! However, before beginning, we recommend putting together any materials you think may be beneficial to have on hand during your Stay Interviews. This step does not require a lot of time and effort; just make sure you have any resources you think will be helpful to you when conducting Stay Interviews.
Phase 2 - Conduct the Interview
1. Start the interview with a simple introductory statement that expresses gratitude and introduces the meeting purpose.
2. Note that employee participation is voluntary, and that their views/opinions will be kept confidential.
3. Set expectations - before diving into the interview process, set expectations around how you can and cannot provide assistance.
4. Ask the questions.
5. Listen actively to responses. After you ask an interview question, listen. When the employee is speaking, maintain eye contact, avoid interrupting, and truly hear what they have to say. You may also want to take notes for later reference, which sends a clear message to your employee that their response matters.
6. Ask probing questions. If you aren’t getting the answers you want, probe. Asking probing questions allows you to dig deeper so you can gather additional details and gain greater understanding.
7. Close the interview. When ending the interview, make sure you and your employee walk away with a common understanding of the content discussed and any next steps.
Phase 3 – Following Up
- The last phase of the Stay Interview process is one that is ongoing: following up. This phase of the process is where you and your employee take action based on what you heard in the Stay Interview.
- Identify and communicate what actions you will take to support your employee.
- Continue the conversation. Once you have completed the Stay Interview, continue the conversation through follow up actions and additional conversations as necessary.
- Share trends and actions with your employees. Within a month of conducting Stay Interviews with all employees who chose to participate, provide an update to your employees by sharing trends and the high level actions you will pursue.

Make IDPs more collaborative

Description: Work with employees to create specific and practical Individual Development Plans (IDPs). Address both the near and long term goals. Plan to develop key areas of strength as well as areas of weakness.

Approx. time: 1 hour

Participants: 2

Directions:

Find or create an Individual Development Plan template and provide this to your employee to draft prior to meeting.
Conduct in-person meeting where you discuss and provide feedback on the plan.
Based on the meeting, finalize the plan, and then meet periodically with the employee to track progress.
Provide opportunities to develop autonomy, mastery, and purpose. See Dan Pink's talk on motivation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc\

Practice Authentic Appreciation

Description: The magic ingredient in effective employee recognition is authentic appreciation -- knowing how employees want to be shown that they are appreciated. Research has shown that employees overwhelmingly prefer verbal praise over tangible gifts as their primary language of appreciation. Gifts can feel hollow and superficial, and employees tend to prefer some individual time and attention, help on tasks (particularly time-sensitive projects), and to hear specifically what you appreciate about them.

Approx. time: 5 min

Participants: 2

Directions:

Make the effort to provide sincere, specific, and timely appreciation for an employee's performance. The praise should be positive, without sarcasm or a joking demeanor that could diminish the authenticity of your words.
Your praise should reinforce the high expectations you hold for your employees, not simply acknowledge something that is a basic part of the employee's responsibilities.
Focus your praise on effort and progress, not the employee's ability. The praise should be appropriate -- you need to know whether your employee is comfortable with public praise.
It may be more appropriate to offer the praise in a one-on-one conversation. Consider whether it is more effective for the praise to be in verbal or written form. Written praise may not be as spontaneous, but it can be particularly effective, as employees can save the feedback for future reference in evaluations.
Your praise should always be sincere and based in reality.

Providing Effective Feedback

Description: Effective feedback doesn’t just happen. Whether you are giving redirection or reinforcement, you should plan what you are going to say in advance. You will need to identify examples to support the redirection or reinforcement you want to give; and you will need to organize your thoughts so that you are able to present your feedback coherently. Ensure you have accurate information about what the person did so you can discover why. You may need to spend as much time planning your feedback than you do giving it. The more time you put into your planning, the more smoothly your feedback sessions will run. Knowing that you want to give someone reinforcement or redirection is just the beginning of the feedback planning process.

Approx. time: 30 min planning, 30 min. discussing

Participants: 2

Directions:

To prepare, ask yourself this series of questions to get your feedback planning on track.

Can I identify and accurately describe the behavior or performance I want to redirect or reinforce and its effects on others in the organization?
Do I have detailed examples of the act and its effects that I can use to support my descriptions?
Do I have positive intent?
Can I identify and describe the results that I hope my reinforcement or redirection will produce?
Does the person receiving the feedback understand my expectations for his or her performance?
Is the person receiving the feedback really responsible for the act in question?
Is the other person open to receiving feedback from me?
Have I put off giving this feedback for a long time?
Have I given myself enough time to prepare the feedback?

A large part of providing feedback is the way in which the feedback is given. You should take care to prepare yourself for the feedback session. Keep some of these points in mind.

Notify the employee or peer and schedule a meeting date and time.
Choose a private but visible setting, including a glass cubicle or glass window conference room, where you and the other person are physically comfortable.
Prepare the facts and documents from which you will work.
Collect the back-up material supporting the feedback and what you wish to accomplish.
Plan how to say what needs to be said.
Ensure there is positive intent.

During the session try to:

Explain the purpose and positive intent.
Place the feedback recipient at ease, as much as possible.
Encourage the feedback recipient to be open and expressive.
Do not become emotionally involved.
Listen!
Encourage clarification of discussion with open-ended questions.
Use specifics, not generalities.
Get feedback recipient to talk about him or her, not others.
Use receptive body language; don’t close off your body or your mind.
Do not cross-examine; discuss the topics at hand.
Don’t argue.
Put yourself in the feedback recipient’s shoes and treat them as you would like to be treated.

When wrapping up the session, be sure to:

Explore future actions and your confidence in him or her.
Get the feedback recipient’s commitment to make the action plan happen.
Remind the recipient of the positive intent.
Agree on a tentative scheduling for a follow-up session.
Thank your feedback recipient.